Check these out..

ANGEL
    First guy (proudly) :  My wife is an angel.
    Second guy               :  You're lucky.  Mine is still alive.

NEAR PERFECT

A woman is looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 
" I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.  I really need you to pay me a
 compliment."
 The husband replies, "Your eyesight's almost perfect, darling!"

FOOL 

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool      
when I married you." The husband replied, " Yes dear. But I was in love and didn't notice."

 PUNCTUATION IS POWERFUL

An English professor wrote the words " A woman without her man is nothing" on the chalkboard  and asked  his students to punctuate it.

All the males in the class wrote, " A woman, without her man, is nothing."  
 All the females in the class wrote, " A woman: without her, man is nothing."



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